u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
