did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You're like the curious george of whores
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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