I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
