do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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