remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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