i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
