so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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