I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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