I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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