it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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