I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
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My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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