Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
