The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
