The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
