Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
