The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
