the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
