I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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