Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
