My friends, they love my intelligence
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize