ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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