You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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