Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
