Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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