is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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