I'm lost and stupid without you.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
