And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
