dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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