I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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