Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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