Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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