you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
