He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You smell like stripper and shame
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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