is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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