Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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