I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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