I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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