haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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