so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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