I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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