Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
false alarm. still invincible.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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