I just saw a hot homeless man
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
