The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
