let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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