And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
