I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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