it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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