Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
