Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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