i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
