I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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