my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize