I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
