So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You ate ashes out of my bong
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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