Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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