whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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