He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
