come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
