The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
