Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
