She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
