billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize